she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
