Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
