after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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