The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
