(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
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