i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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