If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I don't deserve a penis
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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