It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
