i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
