1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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