Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My ATM looks so different sober.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
