My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
