thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize