That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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