I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
