I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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