The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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