I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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