i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Boobs are out for the taking
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
