Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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