Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
