Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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