I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
where are you?
Hypothermia
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize