ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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