My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
