remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
