Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
