im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize