U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
