see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
