he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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