How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
