But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I have post one night stand depression
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
