after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
