She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
