I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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