Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
