Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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