I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize