Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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