I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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