It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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