so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
