someone get that fucking seahorse.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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