I am puke
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
