So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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