the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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