Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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