too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize