i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
