Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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