You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
