i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
