You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
