any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
