You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
