apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
