Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i think i have herpe
just one?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
