whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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